The Only Way To Explain It...

" 16-17This is how we've come to understand and experience love: Christ sacrificed his life for us. This is why we ought to live sacrificially for our fellow believers, and not just be out for ourselves. If you see some brother or sister in need and have the means to do something about it but turn a cold shoulder and do nothing, what happens to God's love? It disappears. And you made it disappear.
When We Practice Real Love
18-20My dear children, let's not just talk about love; let's practice real love. This is the only way we'll know we're living truly, living in God's reality. It's also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves.

21-24And friends, once that's taken care of and we're no longer accusing or condemning ourselves, we're bold and free before God! We're able to stretch our hands out and receive what we asked for because we're doing what he said, doing what pleases him. Again, this is God's command: to believe in his personally named Son, Jesus Christ. He told us to love each other, in line with the original command. As we keep his commands, we live deeply and surely in him, and he lives in us. And this is how we experience his deep and abiding presence in us: by the Spirit he gave us."
- 1 John 3:16-23



I don't have a lot of my own words right now and i'm finding that i really don't even have sentences to put together to fully explain my heart condition...all i know is that i see that i am in the middle of a process and it's good.

It's hard, challenging and I find myself wanting to be stubborn sometimes but here's the truth - God gave me his holy spirit. Not for my own benefit either! It's so that God can be seen through me. I am a body that has God's living spirit inside of me and i cannot keep it in anymore by covering it with negative thoughts.

So what do I do? I fight, I stand firm and I live fully alive through the good, bad, and ugly. God gave me the gift of being at Northwestern where things are totally out of my comfort zone, yet it totally fits me. He is giving me this time to totally devote my heart to him, to make my heart a dwelling place for him. This is the time in my life where i seek him with ALL of my heart and completely depend on him like i never even imagined. It's hard..because i'm fighting with my flesh like none other but SERIOUSLY this is do or die.

And as Nike always says I will "just do it."

why? Because there is truth rooted into my heart [which i am SO thankful for - praise God for such a great VB community!] and I will NOT deny it any longer.

welp...here i go, knowing i will stumble and fall but its okay.