So Lately, well actually i would say all my life, progressively I have been living in a negative thought life. Now some would call this torment, and don't get me wrong i would agree...BUT these are thoughts that i have brought on myself. Sure it was started with torment, but really this has been an issue that has been here pretty consistently.
I remember a message my youth pastor spoke on, basically saying how the little things in our life where we disobey God become big things. I see this in my life right now. Every negative thought i have had has turned into a big lump of negativeness that truly has affected every spot of my life. Living in negative thoughts produces negative feelings, which then produces negative actions or the posture of being stuck.
So first off i don't believe that this means that because i have been in my negative thoughts that God has not been able to use me. I believe that because i have been seeking God that he has shown me that these thoughts are here and that those thoughts are NOT from him...therefore they need to be rooted out of me. These negative thoughts are a "family curse"...for all those who have been to valleybrook =P. I know now that i have a choice...
This brings me to the epiphany i had tonight while chatting with my mom. In english the other day my teacher was talking about the fact that God IS light and how God is not LIKE light, but IS light. There's a difference and it really changes the way that we as Christians look at life.
If God is light, then in order to live with God we must live in the light. Now this may seem quite obvious and maybe even repetitive to some but it really isn't! Why, you ask? because i think so many of us think that we must be at a certain point in our walk with Jesus to finally be "christian enough" or "worthy enough"...that we get our "in" with him. Like we must go through a series of tests and then get accepted. that is SO false!!!! The TRUTH is, God IS light - and once we truly surrender our life to him then we ARE in the light!!! We will always be in process until we meet Jesus. The thing is that a lot of us tend to focus on the darkness instead of staring straight ahead at the light, that gets brighter and brighter as we grow in Christ.
I encourage every one of you to take a step forward - to walk into the light, to leave every piece of darkness that you are aware of in your life and walk in faith - in the fullness of God's power that he has given us. This is the only way that we can give God glory, surrender all to him, and let his light shine through! This is something that is still very raw to me, but i know that my God is a good and faithful God and he cares SO deeply for his children. He IS the perfect father and will take care of all of our needs in HIS perfect timing.
"This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light.." - John 1:5
"12We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!13But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love." - 1 Corinthians 13: 12-13
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