NEWS..

I'm going to be an RA next year =) yay!

My Motto for life right now!

More like falling in love by Jason Gray

Give me rules

I will break them

Give me lines

I will cross them

I need more than a truth to believe

I need a truth that lives, moves, and breathes

To sweep me off my feet

It ought to be



More like falling in love

Than something to believe in

More like losing my heart

Than giving my allegiance

Caught up, called out

Come take a look at me now

It's like I'm falling, oh

It's like I'm falling in love



Give me words

I'll misuse them

Obligations

I'll misplace them

'Cause all religion ever made of me

Was just a sinner with a stone tied to my feet

It never set me free

It's gotta be



CHORUS



...It's like I'm falling in love, love, love

Deeper and deeper

It was love that made

Me a believer

In more than a name, a faith, a creed

Falling in love with Jesus brought the change in me

This Is Me.

*WARNING* This blog might be long, contain a side of me that's real, and it might get messy -- please proceed with caution.

So all of you who know me know that this past semester I attended Northwestern College in Saint Paul, MN and am currently in my 2nd semester [actually now that I think about it, i already wrote that in a previous blog...whatever]. As those who know me well know this year has been HARD...really HARD. There have been many things that have contributed to why my journey in college hasn't been an easy one, but my first statement in this blog is that

IT'S OKAY! I may squirm a little every day but I am finally seeing that this is where I am at in my life so why fight it? It's tiring honestly and I am only human. It's okay that I am... well having some growing pains.

Secondly, just to give you a picture of where I'm at [this is mainly for my benefit so that i can look back and say..WOW look at how far i've come], this past christmas break my eyes were opened wide to the pressure I had been living under to be perfect and that completely distorted what i thought was God's voice in my life. Because of this now i find myself in a place where I am SO hungry to be led and feel SO disorientated. Now don't get me wrong God hasn't abandoned me or anything I would just say that all of my messy, ugly..whatever you want to call it, is out in the open and I really need God to do what he does best.

Everything that I found worth in, defined myself by and got relief from is out in the open as well as my selfishness. I finally am starting to understand that this is GOD we are talking about. Like there is no going around the fact that it is time to take Him seriously.

This isn't a "I have the answers blog," it's more like "I don't have the answers blog"...

What I am really longing for is this...
Passion, conviction, an eternal perspective, a servants heart, to know God so intimately that He seriously feels like a part of me, to ultimately hear God's voice in my life, understand his love more, and have eyes to see and ears to hear his reality.

I guess once again i really am humbled -- I'm not who I thought I was, and that's okay because God is bringing me through the fire and I have to trust that He is in control.

"Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our "God is a consuming fire." - Hebrews 12:28-29
"Teach me your way O Lord, That I may walk in your truth; unite my hear to fear your name" - Psalm 86:11
"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. "make level paths for your feet, 'so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.'" -Hebrews 12:11-12

-- these are the promises/prayers that I have been carrying with me--

-Jamie