Looking Back...

"This Decree, therefore, of the Master, god-of-the-angel-armies,
the strong one of Israel:
"This is it! I'll get my oppressors off my back.
I'll get back at my enemies.
I'll give you the back of my hand,
purge the junk from your life, clean you up.
I'll set honest judges and wise counselors among you
just like it was back in the beginning.
Then you'll be renamed
City-That-Treats-People-Right, the True-Blue City."
God's right ways will put Zion right again."
- Isaiah 1:24-31

...Some of this verse may sound a little harsh, but i look back on these past two years & I feel like this is how God saw me. He saw what needed to go and gave me everything i needed so that my "blood-red sin would be made snow-white". Basically I think God was saying "My right ways will put Jamie right again." And not just made right but made new. I'm just fully understanding that God has always had his eye on me, caring for me and slowly leading me to him. All in his timing.

I feel like i've had many "defining moments" this year, but here i am again looking back at what God has done as i look forward to all he is about to do. It's crazy, but really exciting, but all i want to do is learn more, and love more.

So as i pack up my things to head to Jamaica I know one thing is forsure, God is going to show up big and definitely Rock my boat. But i'm actually really looking forward to it. This is the only life I get to live and why not embrace the unknown, and have a little bit of adventure! I mean don't get me wrong, i've been stressing out and getting nervous about every little thing possible when it comes to Jamaica, but I don't know something's changed today. I feel at peace and ready.

I've Got Things To Say =)

Hey there, so I actually already have a blog, but my soul sista sarah kim blogs on here and i want to be able to comment on her blogs..=P. so i thought why not get my own blog spot, i mean why not?

So right now I am in waiting; there are so many new and exciting things in my life just around the corner but i'm not there yet. Most of it is so unknown too. I've had my plans of how i thought my future would play out, but of course God has messed that all up, but i'm glad and i feel blessed in the middle of it all. why? because he gets to shine and his plan gets to take place.

So i have had many journals and i'm actually in the middle of creating my newest one, if you will. But i guess it would be pretty awesome to see what could be brought out of me sharing the craziness that is my life. I know that reading other's blogs i have become very inspired each time i read them and its just them sharing their honest, vulnerable hearts. So I hope that you have a good time walking through life with me =P!

Right now, i'm preparing for my trip to Jamaica...which is really exciting, but i have so many questions with few answers. I feel tired every day and everything just feels more or less heavy. I know why, obviously-- like my youth paster said; "the dial was going to get turned up" aka get ready for the heat. and right after that meeting on saturday when he said that, i sure did feel the heat. But more than ever do i feel Gods love and know that he's with me, holding my hand and guiding me through this piece of my life. I know he cares and gives me full permission to be human, and to feel and sometimes not know what i'm feeling. This is my vulnerable heart; I want more than anything to love the orphans we will visit, my team and everyone i encounter. I don't know how and God is definitely going to have to show up big time << which i know he will because thats always been his plan.

I guess i've just realized more and more that when we are our worst, thats when God wants to be glorified. Thats when he wants to use us so that he gets all the credit. God's been showing me that over these past 3 days and i completely understand why.

I seriously feel like i'm at my worst, i see all my sin and say to God "Now what?". And all i know is that i give it to him and let him love me.

So i guess what i'll leave you with is permission. Permission to mess up, to be human, to be vulnerable, and to be loved by our awesome creator.

Peace & Love
-Jamie