I've Got Things To Say =)

Hey there, so I actually already have a blog, but my soul sista sarah kim blogs on here and i want to be able to comment on her blogs..=P. so i thought why not get my own blog spot, i mean why not?

So right now I am in waiting; there are so many new and exciting things in my life just around the corner but i'm not there yet. Most of it is so unknown too. I've had my plans of how i thought my future would play out, but of course God has messed that all up, but i'm glad and i feel blessed in the middle of it all. why? because he gets to shine and his plan gets to take place.

So i have had many journals and i'm actually in the middle of creating my newest one, if you will. But i guess it would be pretty awesome to see what could be brought out of me sharing the craziness that is my life. I know that reading other's blogs i have become very inspired each time i read them and its just them sharing their honest, vulnerable hearts. So I hope that you have a good time walking through life with me =P!

Right now, i'm preparing for my trip to Jamaica...which is really exciting, but i have so many questions with few answers. I feel tired every day and everything just feels more or less heavy. I know why, obviously-- like my youth paster said; "the dial was going to get turned up" aka get ready for the heat. and right after that meeting on saturday when he said that, i sure did feel the heat. But more than ever do i feel Gods love and know that he's with me, holding my hand and guiding me through this piece of my life. I know he cares and gives me full permission to be human, and to feel and sometimes not know what i'm feeling. This is my vulnerable heart; I want more than anything to love the orphans we will visit, my team and everyone i encounter. I don't know how and God is definitely going to have to show up big time << which i know he will because thats always been his plan.

I guess i've just realized more and more that when we are our worst, thats when God wants to be glorified. Thats when he wants to use us so that he gets all the credit. God's been showing me that over these past 3 days and i completely understand why.

I seriously feel like i'm at my worst, i see all my sin and say to God "Now what?". And all i know is that i give it to him and let him love me.

So i guess what i'll leave you with is permission. Permission to mess up, to be human, to be vulnerable, and to be loved by our awesome creator.

Peace & Love
-Jamie