The One Who Holds All Things Together

Transitions are hard for me.  I no longer live in south (the school apartments) and it makes me sad.  Not because of the building, but what the building held.  It held five girls who laughed together, cried together, prayed for each other, who had conflicts: some resolved, some never talked about.  Who shared clothes and stories, who took the shuttle and missed the shuttle.  We painted nails, watched hulu, made cake and ate cake.  We got our hair done and cleaned at 11:00 at night with frustration.  We pushed a roommate's car into a parking lot when it stopped working, ran in the snow and threw snow balls at boys we didn't know.  We made budgets, studied, went to counseling, and tried really hard to go to sleep early and work out...  

That room 37 really holds a lot for me.  It began friendships and fostered ones already started.  These girls taught me about Jesus; they taught me about grace and truth.  They really accepted me, and were there for me at my hardest and weakest moments.  

I miss them. I miss us.  I don't want it to be over, but it is and it makes me sad.  It doesn't end for them -- a building that holds a relationship.  It does for me, and I didn't choose that.  I have to believe God did.  I have to believe that instead of a building holding five girls together that God holds us together. 

 That's what  is so hard about transition for me.  The place that made me feel safe is gone and with it the people.  And now I am physically alone in a familiar medium.  I'm not at school, and I'm not at camp: I am in the middle.  Home isn't the same either.  That familiar and "comfortable" part of being home is gone.  

Please don't misunderstand. Oh my goodness I am so excited to see my church community.  I am excited to see my best friend who leaves for Korea in a few days.  I am really looking forward to sitting at Phoenix park with my journal and a book, with the sun beaming down on me.  I'm so thankful to be done with homework.  I am overjoyed at the fact that I am officially a senior in college!!!!  My father has blessed me more than I could ever imagine.  And this piece about my roommates that I shared above is a blessing.  It's me letting go of a season and, sharing with you something special that I share with my Father, and then clinging to truth. 

Here is where I really feel like I need some truth.  Something to reassure me that it's going to be okay.

"Turn my eyes from worthless things, and give me life through your word" - Psalm 119:37

"Your word is a light to my feet and a light to my path" - Psalm 119:106

"Let your steadfast love comfort me according to your promise" - Psalm 119:76

"'For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed.' says the Lord who has compassion on you." - Isaiah 54:10

My father's love is the one thing that can't be taken from me - it won't change.

What I have realized, is that this is what He wants me to know.  That a building or a place was never supposed to hold a relationship.  You would think that I would have realized this, but I think it took living with four amazing woman and finding wonderful friendships from living together.  Then it was time to move out and say goodbye.  For me it is time to move on to the next season of life.  What I know today is that God holds my relationships and I get to trust Him.  


^" I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers,  that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him"
-Ephesians 1:16-17