Being Broken

I look around this world
and I see so many broken people.
I see FEAR consume their minds, hearts, and words
with the outcome of deceit, anger, selfishness, and cutting words as well as actions.
I interact with 3-4 year olds every Tuesday and Thursday who each have been wounded by this world already - I can tell.
They don't feel heard, so they boss others around.
They get bossed around so they put up walls and are mean to others as a means of defense.
They have crying fits when their mothers leave; pulling her hand so she won't walk out the door.

How am I to love them?
My first reaction is to come to their rescue every time. To hold them and use soft words. To sit with them every time they cry. That sounds like a great idea - but sometimes that feeds an unhealthy way of them trying to get attention. They need attention though. They need love, they need nurture like every human being. What does it look like to show someone unconditional LOVE? I am wrestling with this. I don't have answers & I know that is okay; I'm only 20. I'm learning. As a child I was a princess - I got rescued every time when sometimes I didn't need a soft word. Sometimes I needed a firm, yet loving word.

When children are crying for attention they need to be heard. The means in which they are heard though needs to be out of unconditional supernatural LOVE. I can't give that to them, unless I have received it from Jesus. I hope to have my eyes more open to the ways in which He is continually showing me His unconditional, supernatural, unchanging LOVE so that I can give that to others.

There is Hope though.
I see it the most when I am out in the sun playing with these 3-4 year olds and their eyes are twinkling as they go back and forth in the swings. Or smile as they do flips on the monkey bars. I see it when I'm holding a little girl who jammed her finger and she is crying as if it is the end of the world but holding on to me so tight. I see it when the little boys look at the big green dumpsters and think that Oscar from Sesame Street lives there. I feel the hope when I am able to rub the little one's backs during nap time and get to pray for them in my heart.

I feel as if God gave me this opportunity to be at a daycare for so many reasons. One of them I am seeing recently is my heart for children that are broken, live in poverty and come from different ethnicities. Another is that I think God is wanting to heal me in my broken ways of love by showing me how to love these Children. I can sympathize with them because I grew up going to daycare with a single parent. I understand what it is like to not want to say goodbye to my mom. I just hope that even though I am only there for a total of 30 hours that I can leave them with something lasting. I hope that my prayers and actions will nurture their hearts and bring restoration.

*I have so many thoughts lately & this has kind of become my place for writing them down, so If you care to read sweet, but it's okay if you dont!

-Jamie